1 is not necessarily the loneliest number

1 is not necessarily the loneliest number

George Rovira prefers not to be in a relationship.

The freshman civil engineering major from Montclair, N.J., doesn’t have a girlfriend, nor is he intrigued by the prospects of hooking up.

For some, college is the perfect outlet to let out all those pent-up raging hormones that high school built up so nicely.

With parties, liberal and empowered males and females open to casual sex, the stage is set for raging hormones.

Then there are those, like Rovira, who don’t want a relationship and are put off by the idea of casual sex.

Though he only has one year of college under his belt, Rovira’s decisions about sex and relationships in college thus far have led to a new personal philosophy that he calls “celibacy by circumstance.”

The first generation Dominican Republic native has a calm demeanor and a soft, yet deep, voice that doesn’t falter.

When he walked into Au Bon Pain in the Marino Center, Rovira was wearing tight jeans, black rubber bracelets along his left wrist and a black T-shirt that clung to his skin, showcasing lyrics from the band Bloc Party.

He brushed the dreadlocks out of his eyes as he ordered a chamomile tea.

He is the creator of the Facebook group “Guys who don’t have sex in college.”

“I started the group one night after I was at a party where my presence only had the purpose of basically facilitating two of my friends to hook up in the next room,” Rovira said. “I ended up in a room with 12 girls and a gay guy who hit on me.”

Already feeling isolated, the awkward situation marked Rovira’s about-face into his stand against the hookups.

“One bad romantic experience in college is enough to make me see – I just don’t want to be a part of it,” he said of dating. “And yes, part of making the Facebook group was a joke, but it stems from how I really feel and how I live my life.”

College has been romantically and socially isolating.

Rovira doesn’t plan on going out of his way to party and meet new people, who he said he feels will judge him and continue to stereotype.

Rovira said the situations he has experienced in college in terms of any kind of romantic relationship have been “horrible.”

“It’s not fitting for me, these situations where people ‘plan’ to hook up with someone or meet someone random and then just have meaningless relations with them,” he said. “I’m big on how people see other people and treat people.”

In his opinion, sex in college is something that has not and will not suit him.

Rather than fitting in with the college crowd and the “can-do” attitude when it comes to sex and dating, Rovira has entered a state of self-isolation – a manifestation of his feelings against what is commonly considered the norm.

But after one look, it may not be that surprising Rovira is against the norm.

“I am absolutely not a virgin, but I come from a very diverse place and because of how I look or dress I don’t fit how people expect me to,” he said. “I’m not black, I’m Dominican, and I could wear baggy jeans and listen to rap exclusively, but that’s not who I am.”

Rovira said that because of the way he dresses and what music he listens to, women decide to write him off immediately rather than get to know him.

He said that, typically, people expected him to fit a certain stereotype. Because he doesn’t, he doesn’t have too many friends.

“I pretty much hang out with my roommate,” Rovira said. “We usually just watch Seinfeld or play video games.”

Rovira described why he thinks he doesn’t have that many friends, he said.

“I guess people don’t like me because of the way I act and talk. I put everything on the table, and I tell the truth too much,” Rovira said. “I am who I am. I am Dominican, but Latinos are very dramatic, and I don’t want to be a part of that. It has to do with my childhood, I was always apart [from my peers], my family was really about being apart so I didn’t have many friends. Plus, I was always changing my mind, changing my feelings, even as a little kid.”

Though Rovira acts like he may never want a relationship, he actually has a lot of experience in that department.

He dated a girl for four years in high school. They broke up just before college.

He admitted that coming out of the relationship, he’s not looking too hard for a date.

“One of the things that contributed [to isolation] was that I just got out of a four-year relationship, it’s the first time I’ve really ever been single and I just started college,” he said.

He also uses this as justification for staying out of one.

“I’ve already had that serious relationship; I’m like 10 steps ahead of them,” he said. “And I don’t want to go back to that right now.”

His roommate Alejandro Goez, who he said is his only friend, tried to explain why Rovira shies away from romance in college.

“Well, he is a really laid-back guy who just hates how girls present themselves and give mixed signals,” said Goez, Rovira’s fellow freshman architecture major. “[He thinks] it is a pain to try and figure what these signals mean and he hates playing games so that’s why he doesn’t try.”

Goez summarized how he views his roommate in one simple statement.

“He’s a cool guy, but women have just made him awkward.”

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