Forks and Spoons: Less maintenance leads to new outlook

Since the dawn of relationships, people have been relentlessly searching for combinations some claim to not even exist. Good sex and good conversation. Attractiveness and personality. Shallow fun and a meaningful connection. Can both coexist?

I’ve discovered the solution. Certainly they can – but only as completely separate entities.

With the infliction of spring fever, resulting in promiscuous tensions, I’ve stumbled upon the perfect situation. I can have sex with whomever I want, and still go to my friends for the meaningful connections that I crave.

There are no games. No mixed messages. No hurt feelings. It’s so simple. What’s not to love, besides of course the person I’m sleeping with?

I had become so fed up with people’s empty relationships that I fell into empty patterns myself. I thought I valued relationships more than everyone else, but by overvaluing them, I had debased any possible relationship at all.

When faced with the reality of going on an actual date sans hook-up afterward, I was out of my element. “You mean your presence isn’t simply for sex?” I asked myself in complete puzzlement. I had been comfortable having unattached sex for so long that the thought of considering someone in serious dating seemed antiquated to me.

While I loved the way my life was unfolding, never adding any drama, only instant gratification, I never expected to grow out of the prospect of a relationship. I still thought I was open to meeting someone for more than just sex, but it turned out that I was spoonfeeding myself my own promiscuous agenda.

It had all become too easy, just like I had become. Miscommunication and rejection are a natural part of life from which people learn. Love and heartbreak are necessary for growth as a person. My easy liberation became a trap of shallow encounters.

I had never felt so satisfied with my life. I had everything I could ask for, and it all came so effortlessly, too. Once I had let go of the preconceived notions of what I thought I wanted, things finally started to fall into place. When I discovered this new way of life, I wanted to spread the gospel to everyone I knew.

There is no longer a need to play games or to get drunk to have an excuse for a failed hookup. There is no room for miscommunication.

After being spoon-fed relationship propaganda all my life that we singles aren’t worth anything unless our significant other calls us on the hour every hour to tell us so, this newfound sexual philosophy was downright liberating. Think how many hurt feelings and broken hearts could be avoided. I thought of my friends’ current situations and how above all of their petty struggles I felt.

These aren’t all one-night stands, though some turn out to be. But when good chemistry occurs, one should hold on to that. A relationship still develops, but one more akin to a friend. They are someone you have fun with and feel safe with, but without the pressures to jump into anything unnecessary.

People have become so eager to be in relationships that it’s gotten to the point where it doesn’t even matter who the person is. People are in relationships not because they have found someone that can help them grow as a person or show them a new way of looking at the world, but rather just for the sake of not being alone.

I ventured back to my initial empowerment, how I felt I had the best of both worlds. I just needed to remember the balance that existed, between friends and sex. I now needed to re-evaluate the balance between sex and dating. Middle ground exists in all of these situations, and there are many ways to navigate the waters of dating. I still plan to have my no strings attached, but this time I won’t string my ego along, either.

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