My boyfriend and I practically live together at this point. We spend five to seven nights out of the week together at his apartment with his not-so-friendly roommates.

Ever since we first started dating, one of his roommates has confronted us several times about our nighttime (and morning and afternoon) “activities,” saying that we were too loud. This roommate’s room is right across a narrow hallway, but the problem isn’t with our volume. It’s with the roommates’ habit of leaving their door open, sitting on their bed without music or television for background noise and flat-out listening to us.

How would I know this person does this?

One of them told my boyfriend he sits on his bed and listen to us having sex.

“I feel like a loser that I don’t have anyone,” he said.

I wish I were kidding about this guy.

One of the roommates downstairs that is more understanding (a lot more, he’s like a saint) just laughs it off.

“Yeah, I can hear everything. I turn the TV louder. Yeah, my room shakes violently. I just close the lazy boy.”

But we’re no strangers to outside access to our acts.

One weekend, we decided a little morning jump in the hot tub could be fun.

It was 10 a.m. on a sunny day in a small town, and no less than three houses had a view of quite the show in the hot tub.