All Hail: Slim pickings for need-based jobs

Like many college students across the country, money is a rare commodity for me these days.

With concerts to be seen, pizza to be eaten and the fact that no student can travel throughout Boston without utilizing the T, being broke is not an option.

But I can’t retain this lifestyle and remain unemployed at the same time.

So one can only imagine the joy in my heart when I logged onto the myNEU website one breezy, summer afternoon and noticed that these Northeastern bigwigs had awarded me an “NU Job” for the upcoming fall and spring semesters.

I breathed a sigh of relief.

Working for the university would be perfect. An on-campus job was just what I needed. These employers would be aware that I am a student first, strapped-for-cash workhorse second.

Now I wouldn’t have to argue with an employer over why the 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. shift on a Tuesday wouldn’t work out. Now I wouldn’t have to explain the importance of passing my mid-terms or why I studied books on case law during my breaks.

It seemed almost too good to be true.

Well, that’s because it was. The problem remained that the jobs offered to those awarded “NU Jobs” were a little different than I had expected. I quickly discovered there was a stark contrast between the jobs listed under “Need-based Student Employment Only” and “Federal Work Study Jobs Only.”

While work studies have their pick of everything from sitting on a chair and doing their homework in Snell Library to sitting on a chair and doing their homework in the ResMail offices, the jobs offered to those with an “NU Job” are cut from a slightly different cloth.

If work study positions are Egyptian-spun silk, then “NU Jobs” are burlap sacks.

We have the occasional “office assistant” positions that pop onto the radar every once in a while. But because those jobs merely require one to know how to properly man a fax machine, they are quickly filled.

Now I’m left with the coveted positions of becoming the next Student Football Manager or a personal trainer in Marino.

But those aren’t the only opportunities laid at my feet. I could work as a research assistant in a biochemistry lab, as a group fitness instructor where I would be required to “audition” or as a text conversion assistant in the Disability Resource Center.

Fortunately, you must only struggle with choosing amongst these illustrious positions within the Northeastern community if you actually meet the requirements.

Most of the jobs listed have stiff requirements that my meager r

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