Column: Nice job, Zuckerberg

Column: Nice job, Zuckerberg

By Stephanie Shore

I think we can all agree that the implementation of the “Facebook Facelift” was a pretty ugly mistake. Most facelifts are, after all. Just ask Joan Rivers.

This coming from an admittedly Facebook-obsessed “Inter-nerd.” I’d count how many times I check the site per day to prove this to you, but I think the number might scare me too much. I know I’m not alone.

Sure, there are plenty of people who use Facebook “appropriately,” perhaps just to keep in touch with old friends, or to network with people with similar interests. But most of us – well, we’re creepy. We’re a creepy generation.

Nonetheless, Facebook took things a little too far this time. With the News Feed and Mini-Feed features, tracking the lives of hundreds of people at once became as easy as checking your e-mail.

The Facebook representatives made sure to point out that any information found in the feeds was already available in user profiles. Apparently, the new features were meant to make this information more easily accessible.

Personally, it was already easy enough for me. I don’t even actually know many of my Facebook friends. I’m not about to go checking their profile to see what they’ve added to their “favorite TV shows,” and I don’t need the information taking up space on my homepage.

In addition to sometimes being pointless, news feeds can be pretty cruel. The “relationship stories” are the worst. Going through a break-up is hard enough. Now, in addition to the heartache, one must endure the brutal humiliation of a public declaration of suffering, right next to a graphic of a broken heart.

The Facebook Product Manager Ruchi Sanghvi defended this very feature in his personal Facebook blog on Sept. 5. He said the news feed would allow users to find out “when your crush is single again.”

Look, Ruchi, if I have a crush on a guy, I’m probably already checking his profile every couple of days anyway. Isn’t that sad enough? Do I really need to be tempted to start poking him the second he’s a free man?

The general consensus among protest groups such as “And I Thought Facebook Was Creepy Before

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