All Hail: Coffee: not the best part of wakin’ up

I do not drink coffee.

How many people just cringed? There must have been some sort of a reaction. Maybe a sly smirk crept across your face?

Coffee drinkers assume the entire world drinks coffee. People are always shocked when they hear I don’t. Haven’t you heard? I am a rare species. I am perhaps the only person in the United States who does not drink coffee.

I am currently on co-op and work in a building with 1,900 other employees. I have found it is extremely difficult to work in the business world and not drink coffee. There almost seems to be a coffee-drinking cult where I am not welcome.

I often feel left out. It is almost as if I am being excluded from groups of friends because of my beverage preference. The coffee drinkers bond over their enjoyment of coffee and take trips together to the coffee shop, leaving me alone with my glass of water.

I don’t drink coffee because it gives me headaches. Even though I do like the taste, there are just other things I prefer. If I can enjoy an alternate drink without getting a headache, why would I choose something that always seems to induce one?

When I explain this to others, they usually say it seems weird. Last time I checked, caffeine has been proven to provoke headaches. It’s not like I am making up an excuse to not grab a cup of coffee with you.

If I feel cold and am looking for something to warm me from the inside out, I’ll drink a cup of decaffeinated tea instead. Or if I am feeling extra creative, I’ll make a cup of hot chocolate with mini marshmallows. These are both perfectly satisfying.

Also, I honestly believe the NEED for coffee is completely in the drinker’s head. Yes, I too am tired when I wake up every morning, but I don’t rush to ingest that first sip of coffee, filling me with a burst of caffeine so I am instantly more awake. I understand caffeine is addicting, but are two, three or sometimes more cups a day necessary?

It is kind of ridiculous.

I am also pretty sure a coffee run during the day to Starbucks or Dunkin’ Donuts is just an excuse to get outside for a few minutes. Trust me, I understand the desire to run away from my desk at times, but isn’t there something else to do? Maybe go buy lunch or grab snacks at a local CVS instead.

And do they realize how much money they are wasting? If someone drinks two coffees a day, that’s about $5 (or probably more) spent 365 times a year.

That’s $1,825 spent on coffee each year!

Imagine if you saved that money and went on a cruise instead. I’d take a week lying on the beach over two cups of coffee any day. Or donate some of the money to charity. At least then it would go to a good cause. Or better yet, invest it. This way it will eventually yield some real rewards.

I feel I need to clarify something. People who go out to get an occasional cup of coffee do not bother me. Those who make it in a coffee pot aren’t actually wasting money. I just find it incomprehensible that people feel they need to drink coffee and that they are willing to spend as much money as they do.

So next time someone refuses the cup of coffee you offer, don’t immediately jump to conclusions. There is most likely a practical reason they don’t want to drink it. Not everyone in this world has the same likes and dislikes. News flash, there are people who do not drink coffee.

And by the way, I also don’t eat chocolate. But I think that one will have to wait until next time.

– Ashley Traupman is a sophomore journalism major and member of The News staff.

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